Titanic Sinking

Breaking news today: Hulk Hogan signs with TNA wrestling.

The Hogan deal with TNA was brokered by my favorite wrestling personality in the world, Eric Bischoff.

On top of that, Bischoff and my other buddy Jason Hervey have a production company that signed an agreement with TNA to “...to develop new programming extensions of the TNA brand.

Gee, that sounds great. I’m sure those two jabronies have some outstanding ideas they’d like to sucker someone into.

I guess the good news is that it will free up two hours a week of my time, since I won’t need to turn on TNA anymore. How could this not cause TNA to go down faster than the Titanic?

It can’t be overstated that Hogan has no wrestling ability, has a huge ego, and along with Nash and some of the other “vets” he will control the direction of the programming. So much for the X division. Now we get Hogan TV every Thursday.

How did this ever get signed? The P.R. nightmare alone seemed like it would be a deal breaker.

Since TNA apparently doesn’t seem to know what they’ve gotten themselves into, I thought I would give a quick little recap of the darker side of Mr. Hogan’s career.

The first “chink in the armor” happened with his involvement in the steroid scandal of the early 1990’s. The then WWF, and chairman Vince McMahon, was being charged with illegally providing anabolic steroids to his employees. Hogan was subpoenaed and had to provide testimony during the trial. Vince was not convicted, but Hogan ended up revealing what he really meant when he told kids to “…eat your vitamins.”

In 1994, Hogan signed with WWF rival World Championship Wrestling (WCW). Two years later, he would turn heel and join the New World Order (nWo), leaving long-time Hulkamaniacs crying in their “do rags”. For as many fans as he turned against him, there were probably more that had grown sick of his gimmick over the last decade that liked the new Hogan. For this reason, I think I would call this whole period a positive, rather than focus on the fans that may have been disappointed.  I think he was able to successfully win back his original fans after going back to the “good” side in 1999.

In 2005, VH1 aired the first episode of Hogan Knows Best, a “reality” show featuring Hogan, his wife, and his two children (along with a couple of his cronies). While it might not be fair to say that Hogan’s personal problems were not directly caused by being part of this production, history has shown that “reality” shows and relationships don’t mix (Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey, Carmen Electra & Dave Navarro, Britney Spears & Kevin Federline, Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston, Jon & Kate, etc., etc. [did I miss any?]).

So what’s happened with Hogan since the first episode aired? You can follow the link above for details, but here’s a quick summary:

  • Nick, Hogan’s son, gets into a drunken, high-speed car crash causing his passenger serious brain injuries. The 22 year old passenger, John Graziano, will likely spend the rest of his life in a nursing home. Nick Hogan is sentenced to 8 months in jail. Some unsubstantiated reports claimed that not only did daddy Hogan know about the high speed driving, but that he was actually racing along side his son when the accident happened.
  • During Nick’s incarceration, audio tapes of his conversations with his family were released (middle of article has links to the MP3 files). The tapes included Hulk’s wife Linda saying that “[the crash victim’s mother] didn’t care about him, she just wants the money“. Hulk can also be heard saying “…for some reason, God laid some heavy sh*t on the kid..I don’t know what he was into…“, followed by Nick saying that John was a “negative person“. They also discussed how to make some $$ on a reality show for Nick once he got out.
  • Hogan cheats on his wife with a female friend of his daughter
  • Linda files for divorce, then starts dating a 19 year old that graduated high school a year after her daughter.
  • Since the divorce filing, Hogan tells Rolling Stone magazine, “I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody’s throat” and “I totally understand O.J. I get it.
  • Linda and new boyfriend file a restraining order against her ex.
  • Linda slams daughter Brooke in the press, claiming she got breast implants.
  • Both Hulk and Linda claim the other was on drugs

Having learned nothing (or possibly just needing money to cover the messy divorce), a new “reality” show starts up on VH1 called Brooke Knows Best. Daddy Hogan is a co-star.

I sort of lost track after that, but apparently he has a new book out he needs to plug, so he’s making it around the talk show circuit.

Probably safe to say he won’t be a guest host on WWE Monday Night Raw.

Hey, TNA locker room– Head for the lifeboats, boys!